Anita's Health Updates

It is great NEWS, but I am almost reluctant to share it. 

Because, I am aware of many of the tough circumstances of  those receiving this e-mail, with all varying degrees of difficulty and challenges - physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, including financial.

It hurts sometimes, just considering such. I have prayed for many of you...by name - for your child(ren), your spouse, a parent, or other close loved one.

I know you have done the same for me and mine. Thank you!

Anita's number, physical was today, (CA 125/ cancer marker) is right in range of normal. All is currently well. Next "pit stop/ blood draw" is scheduled for the third week of March. Until then, we exhale another "thankful" breathe.

While sometimes none of this (or yours, whatever it might be) makes much sense, I know Heavenly Father better sees the whole picture; and in His eternal scheme of events, it all makes sense. I occasionally hang on to that. 

All the quotes and sayings frequently fall short on comfort, but not the kind gestures of friends. Thank you for letting me sporadically intrude into your e-mail for a few moments.

With love and appreciation.

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This Thanksgiving marks the 25th year of an ADAMS family tradition that is always the highlight of the day for me.

It began, in 1987, with eight children - ranging in ages from 3 to 16 - and Anita and me writing down (anonymously) on small pieces of paper three things we were thankful for during the previous year. Of course, the youngest ones needed help. We then placed all of the "Thankful's" in a small paper bag, decorated with a colorful turkey on the outside.

Next, we passed the bag around, and each of us pulled out three small sheets of paper, and read aloud what was written.  I have saved every bag of the previous 24 years with these precious "Thankful's".

What began with just 10 of us has now expanded to over 40 each year. Three written "thankful's" has expanded to five. You can do the math, that's over 200 "Thankful" insertions into the new bag each year.  When the children were away on their missions, or living out-of-state, they mailed them to us (and still do)...but always written on individual pieces of paper, anonymously. All of them were then put into the "Thankful" bag for that year.

Of course, there are some duplication of "thankful's" in any specific year. In November of 1996, Anita had just had a heart valve replacement a week earlier. You can imagine what many of the "thankful's" were that year from each of us. By then the family had expanded with Nathan and Laura's, and Rachel and Jason's marriages; Luke was away on his mission while the youngest, Peter, was 12 years old. So we had two additional family members putting their "Thankful's" in the bag, and one set of "Thankful's" being mailed from Luke, in Massachusetts.

Quickly jump forward to last Thanksgiving (2010). What began with just 10 people expressing their anonymous "Thankful's", was now 18 adults, joined by 18 capable grandchildren depositing their "Thankful's" into the bag - and the other seven expressing theirs via proxy by their mothers.

Now, I cannot remember a Thanksgiving where there were not others joining us - both family and friends - some for the complete Thanksgiving dinner, and others just for dessert.  They, too, always participated in the "Thankful" bag.

What kind of "Thankful's" might one read in these "Thankful" bags of yesteryear. Oh, the vast majority will be of a serious nature, heartfelt, many of them very tender. There will also be announcements of additional family members coming to join the Adams clan (remember all of these are anonymous), both new job opportunities and loss of jobs, starting school and finishing school (encompassing both young and old), a new home, a new car, a can opener that works, a heater that is now fixed, and oh so many more things.

In the earlier years, of the now adult children, there were some short-lived- "Thankful's" - but at the time still important - for certain movie stars, singing groups, bands, certain sports figures, and other cute or lovely entertainers.  There are some in-house  "coded-thankful's" that seem to resurface every year, which carry a long history.

The point is, there are no rules to what you can be "thankful" for. Some of the above are reoccurring with the grandchildren. While the names of the stars, groups, bands, sports figures, and entertainers have changed, the "drooling" over them remains about the same.

I occasionally grab a couple of "Thankful" bags and review their contents, and a flood of memories pass over me. 

As I conclude this blast e-mail, although it is not personally addressed, you are on the list because you have had a favorable impact in my life in one way or another.  I want you to know that the last two years of Anita's fight against cancer has made some indelible impressions upon me. Being able to share my feelings and thoughts, and hopefully my appreciation and love through my rough exterior,  with you during this time, and the time yet ahead, helps me maintain my equilibrium. 

So many hundreds of kind thoughts expressed in person, via e-mail, personal notes and letters during the last two years, are among some of my most important "Thankful's" that I will deposit  in the bag this year.

Thank you so very much for your friendship...

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To begin with, another clean bill of health for Anita, with regards to her CA125 cancer marker; next "pit" stop December 15 - the last two "let's see how you are doing" check-ups were six weeks apart; so we are back to lengthening the timeframe a little more. With the every few weeks INR/PT blood test to regulate her Coumadin; physical therapy for "head, shoulder, knees, and toes"...no wait that's "shoulder, back, hip, and elbow"; and then my sniffling about whatever...keeps us laughing - what's next?  No wait, we do not want to know.

Anita looks at life in 15 year increments: 0-15, 15-30, 30-45, 45-60, 60-75, 75-90, and 90-105. As you look at those time frames it is ever so obvious that each one is significantly different from the last one; huge changes occur in each of those periods of time.

Fifteen years ago, next month, Anita underwent surgery for a heart valve replacement. At the time, we had two married children, five living at home, and one serving a mission for our Church. Here, just 15 years later, all eight of the children are married, and 25 grandchildren have been added to the picture; Anita's heart valve is still functioning properly, with a new battle raging, i.e., the fight against ovarian cancer.

And your life? You, too, have experienced considerable changes in the last decade and a half; and the next 15 years will bring more changes to you, your loved ones, and the world - probably more than we can hardly imagine - but, life will go on.

From my observations over the last two years, I could write a book (and I should, and hope to) about the various trials and tribulations that I have been made aware of in the lives of so many of you - each  in the various stages of life mentioned above. I hasten to add that many of those life circumstances, while very difficult, can have a positive counterbalancing effect on us.

I am not suggesting for a moment, nor would I want to minimize the difficulty of what has come your way, that it has been easy - but looking back, and perhaps still looking forward, we each recognize the need of something more than self. The kind and unexpected notes, letters, or cards; the warm and friendly smile, handshake, or hug; the phone call or voice message, e-mail, or text; the door-dropped goodies, flowers, or meals - each of these, and more, help fill the emotional bucket and buoy our souls.  And so does prayer, reading the Scriptures, and doing service to others.

Thank you for being there for me, Anita, and our family. Neither Anita nor I kid ourselves that this last ride will cover a 15 year period of us being together on this side of the veil. But nor do we over-concern ourselves with the obvious; we know this short Earth life is the testing ground for each of us in our eternal quest to go Home.  And, while neither of us is in a rush to go, both of us well understand stage two in this three act play.

The ride so far has been good; we anticipate the rest of it to be likewise.

That it might be for each of us....

P.S. Anita and I have both posted our "Mormon.org" profile:  click here: Meet Mormons and read their stories, and then type in "Anita Washington" or "Ray Washington".

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Wow! Summer is almost over; where does the time go? And why does it go so fast? I am breathing much easier than I was just a few days ago.

Every three months Anita goes in to get her CA 125 blood test; the "number" reading should read below (about) 32 to be in the normal range. The last three number readings (including 3 weeks ago) increased each time - albeit, they are still in the safe range.  Hence, the results of three weeks ago brought me no concern, even though the number was up slightly from the last two times - with such a small range of numbers between zero and 32, an ever so slight increase can produce a large percentage.

Nevertheless, two weeks ago her doctor ordered a "scan" be taken, just to be cautious, which was done last Wednesday. We got the call the next day that everything is "clear" - no cancer!

Most of you know, and I hope the rest of you never have the experience, how emotional it is to wait for the results.

So we gladly, anxiously, and with much thanksgiving, climb back on the train of life for another exciting 90 days - full of whatever comes.

I am not sure why but Anita's cancer doctor asked if she had experienced much stress lately. My thought was, who doesn't? Moreover, just living with me brings a significant amount of stress - especially after 40 years. But, she wasn't asking me.

"Well a little," Anita said. Some of you may know that my mother passed away July 16^th; she had a good life, and so it was not hard to see her complete her turn on Earth. But it still brings emotion with it....

On Wednesday, August 3, Anita and I enjoyed our first attempt at a real family reunion (whatever that means); all 25 grandchildren, with their parents and us,  gathered in two very small houses, with 4 tents, and two "Honey Buckets" (port-a-potties); for 3 weeks we enjoyed one another's company - well, it was really only 3 days, but it felt longer. We had a great time...and we're up to it again next year.

The following Sunday night we gathered for a memorial, with family and friends, to remember my mother. For refreshments we enjoyed some of my mother's favorite things: donut holes, Symphony bars, Hershey bars with almonds, chocolate covered cherries, Sees chocolates, a variety of individually wrapped small chocolates, and  Ovaltine (with half-and-half) - the beverage of her choice.

It was fortunate for all of us, that all of the children (with spouses), all 25 grandchildren, and my sister were able to attend. However, all of them over to our home for a few meals (like invading locusts in a cornfield) during these few days of commotion probably moved the "stress needle" a little.

But the news of this day is that Anita remains in remission!

Thank you for letting me burble...

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Three things, in order of importance:

1). Anita went to church on Sunday (all three hours); walked this morning for 15 min.; is tapering off of her "drugs"  at a slower pace than she originally began...with much improved results; is participating in a Relief Society presidency meeting this morning at our house; and has had her glowing beautiful smile return the last three days. Additionally, three consistent days of Seattle sunshine have added to this positive picture...

2). And, it looks like her son  will win. Thank you so much for all who have voted for Nathan. However, it's not over till it's over. So, may I impose upon you for one more vote today and another one tomorrow? All day today, and tomorrow morning, are the last two days to vote:  http://www.fluevog.com/code/fc_finalists.php#footnote.

3). On Saturday afternoon I drove Anita to the finish line of the annual Green River marathon in Seattle; she was there among many others to see her son (Samuel), her daughter (Marianna) and ME. YEP, she  took pictures of me and Marianna (our youngest daughter) crossing  the finish line.  This was my third marathon* (in as many years) of running with Marianna. It is great to still be able to participate in such an event at my age - quite frankly at any age.

Once again, thank you for being there for us during this last 1 1/2 years...we hope we can be there for you. Please let us know.

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Since the last "post" progress has not been as good as we/she would have hoped;  the details are not the kind anyone likes to share, albeit they are real.

Of course, we still feel good about the forward movement; nevertheless,  the rippling effect of mild discouragement has reared its head more frequently than we would have anticipated.  Surely something many of you can relate to in one form or another.

But here is an antidote that would do this mother of "8" children's heart good. 

Her oldest  son, Nathan,  made the top 4 in the worldwide Fluevog ad competition. Now it's up to voters. You are allowed one vote per IP address per day. I think there are 4 days left to vote. If you feel so inclined.....

Please go vote for Nate!!!!!!

http://www.fluevog.com/code/fc_finalists.php#footnote

Thanks so much! She is  really excited, and  a "win" would do her heart good.

Feel free to spread the word to anyone you think would like to help.

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To the point: NO CANCER...Anita is at home recovering.

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Good morning.  It is now 5:30 AM; I went to bed last night, or should I say early this morning, at about 12:30 AM.  It was a long day for me; even longer for my dear wife. To speed up the dialogue, she went in for her operation just before noon. The doctor came down to visit my daughter and me, in the waiting room, just before 2 PM. Everything seems to have gone well. The exact particulars probably are not relevant, except to say the "obstruction" was surgically removed, biopsies were taken, and the results of those will be forthcoming within a few days.

My strong feelings of optimism, or some would say selected denial, only permit me to see a complete recovery, and then back to a new normal within a short period of time.  I am confident that Anita's time on Earth will yet tick on for a while longer - not only to continue to knock the rough spots off me, but to be of help, through her kind acts  of service and unselfish example, to many others.

Your kind notes, and more importantly your prayers, not only warm my heart but fill my emotional tank. Thank you for being there. 

I have much more I want to share with you, and I will, but not this morning.

Post surgery is always slower than we think; never as smooth as we wish and/or anticipate.  This one will be no exception. 

I'm signing off for now; straightening my tie, putting on my "face mask", which does hide my occasional sadness and perhaps unseen concern, to brave and enjoy another day in the game of life.

Best to you in your life's struggles...we all have them.  It is part of the Master's Plan...

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Quick update: 

Surgery, to remove the obstruction (whatever it is, or the cause thereof) will be performed this morning at about 11:00am; all other options to do so have been exhausted without favorable results.

Preparations and precautions have been made to minimize both discomfort and complications that could arise due to Anita's current physical frailness...no food for the last week (and already having lost weight the last month or so),  and her daily blood thinner medication (Coumadin/warfarin). 

We recognize the possibilities. The only outlook we anticipate is complete success. Rachel, our Nurse Practitioner daughter, has flown in to help this along. You may remember she was instrumental in saving Anita's life the last go around.

I solicit your prayers on Anita's behalf, and for the Doctors to be at their best, i.e. observant, at their peak performance, and led by the Spirit.

Thank you. I'll keep you posted.

Ray

P.S. Oh, thanks to so many of you for your input re: the parking situation. Here are some of the helpful recommendations I received:

1. Get a real job, Adams
2. Steal a Placard; they park for free
3. Move in with your wife
4. Remember, those feet were made for walking...
5. Stay home. Anita would probably like the peace and quiet.

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For the last one and half years you have been a major support to me; and I cannot begin to tell you how much help it has been to me. I have now run up against something that is very upsetting to me and I would like your input, if possible.

My question to you will not be by way of complaining.  In fact, Anita would be the first one to say that I seldom if ever complain about anything. I certainly have my own viewpoints, but I do not participate in complaining; action is my mode of operation. But tonight as I'm typing this, having been thinking about it the last two days, I am about to request your input on something I think would be upsetting to almost anyone. 

Before I "hit you with the question" I would like to first lay the groundwork. Last Thursday evening Anita took some of her clothing, her personal credit cards, and spent the evening at a very expensive facility in Bellevue... a somewhat uppity city adjacent to where we live. To say the least is very expensive - approximately $500-$750 per night, plus amenities.

Not good enough for her requirements, the following afternoon she was happy to pay for private customized transportation ($1500+) to Seattle, and checked into a room on the 11th floor of a very expensive abode, sporting a breathtaking view of this fabulous city. She is anticipating making this a temporary residence for at least this coming week.  At her beckoning call she has room service 24 hours a day.

I could go on and on about the available services, and all that goes with this sort of lifestyle. I am not complaining; I am happy that she has whatever she needs or wants. It is expensive, but she is and has always been my queen.

Now I know for those of you who know me well your thinking could this be true; to answer your unuttered question, "it is completely true." Some of you know, but many of you don't, that she was involved in something along these lines about 15 years ago in our marriage - and  much more recent than that, and now this episode.

Is it hard on me? Absolutely!

But enough of the groundwork. Let me get to the question that has been upsetting to me for the last two days. It is this: why should someone (especially someone like me) have to pay four dollars an hour to park on a city street, while visiting my wife in the hospital. That doesn't seem fair to me; does it to you? What would you suggest I might do? It absolutely is not fair.

Oh, the first night Anita stayed at Overlake Hospital. However, the doctor who performed her surgery last year wanted her transferred (by ambulance) to Swedish Hospital in downtown Seattle.

Anyway, back to the parking meter. Doesn't that seem expensive to you - $4.00 an hour?

We are very hopeful of Anita's condition/situation. She went in with a terrible bowel obstruction; a lot of "maybe this, maybe that" up to this point.  However, we are very optimistic that things will turn out well. Specifics, as of this e-mail, are unavailable.  I'll make sure they are forthcoming with a much less convoluted introduction; but the expensive parking, on city streets, still remains an issue with me.

Of course, my request for your prayers on Anita's behalf (albeit a selfish one) would be deeply appreciated. I know you, too, have your struggles in life. Because I have a mental list of so many of you reading this, who I know would request of me the same thing I'm requesting and you, quite often I attempt to remember in my own personal prayers to individually request Heavenly Father's guiding hand in your specific challenges in life, even when I have no specifics, but am nonetheless cognizant that we all have some tests we face.

Thank you for your kindnesses, friendship, and being there for me with your uplifting remarks in whatever form I have received them...

I will keep you posted in a few days....

Until then, we feel confident that there still is much sand in Anita's hourglass.

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Last weekend we went to Forks/ La Push - arriving late Friday night.  No, neither one of us is into Twilight - Anita has had more than enough bloodsucking during the last year. 

The weather was beautiful; the walks along the beach with my lovely wife were a breath of fresh air...more than just literally. We walked about 10 miles on Saturday; with the exception of where we stayed, on the beach, we had to hike through the forest to get to the ocean in each other locale. We even traversed the pathway to the most Northwestern point of the continental United States; and there on an observation deck viewed a magnificent sunset.  

Sunday we attended church, and enjoyed a quiet day together.  Monday, back to trolling the beach; and in the afternoon, on our way back home, we stopped and hiked into the forest to feast our eyes on some beautiful waterfalls.

It turned out that our timing could not have been better; last week that area was pounded with high winds and snow.

Upon our arrival home Anita went to see her own vampires - an every 90-day commitment which began last August, and will continue at this frequency for five years.  It is always a "pins and needles" experience - literally and metaphorically speaking.  The blood was then sent off to the lab in order to obtain her CA 125 count - translated, "Are you still in remission?" 

We anxiously awaited the results, kind of like you reading this and waiting for me to drop the other shoe. While your feeling at this moment is that everything must be all right, or Ray probably would not have sent out this e-mail, you are not completely sure; because one day this correspondence will not be an easy to do rehearsal of the most current events. For today, however, we most generously give thanks to our Heavenly Father for what turned out to be a good score: "normal range."

For some of the people who are receiving this e-mail, friends of ours, things have not been as positive over the last three months. Certainly, I am not aware of the personal circumstances of most who are reading this, nevertheless, here are some of the ones I do know: death of a loved one; newly diagnosed health impairments, disease, and/ or debilitating sickness to themselves, or an immediate family member; significant family upheaval due to changing family dynamics, divorce, loss of employment disability/accident, or long-range illness.  For these reasons, and more,  I try each day to have my prayers reflect the concern I have for those circumstances of which I am well aware, recognizing that to be just the tip of the iceberg.

While at times, unfortunately, I am not immediately "thankful" for the trying and difficult times I observe in my family, and yours; even so, I have to be grateful that it is a most gracious and loving God who is in charge, who knows all things, and will take us by the hand and give us answers to our prayers - albeit, not always as we think best, but what He knows is best from an eternal perspective. However, for me, oft times (actually most of the time) much easier said than done.

Anita recently needed to step down from her five year involvement with Cub Scouts. She was asked to serve as a counselor to the president of the women's organization, called Relief Society, in our local congregation/Ward of our Church.  That, along with her constant involvement with the grandchildren, keeps her actively engaged in many good causes.

I try to stay out of her hair - yes, it has fully grown back, still no gray -but I did not mean literally. Fortunately,  for Anita, even after 20+ years I still leave the house before 6:30 AM (at the same time Anita leaves to walk her 3 to 4 mile course, each morning) to teach an enjoyable room full of high school juniors and seniors - a 4-year religion curriculum.  After class, I have breakfast with my mother, every weekday morning, in the assisted living facility where she has lived for 6 years.  I am such a regular there that many people think that I, too, am incarcerated there...I mean live there; it must be the gray dye I put in my hair each day (I better stop doing that).

She, Anita, is involved with this and that, and a whole bunch of other things also. She likes it; it keeps her busy, and involved in doing good.

Well, I could drone on forever, as most of you well know.  But, I did want  you to know how happy we are, how blessed we feel, how favorable our current circumstances are.

So, we'll continue to enjoy the next 90 day journey through life; and then, regardless of all prevailing information at that time, I will send you another "update".

Until then, both Anita and I include you, our friends, in our prayers; sometimes only in generalities, because we are not aware of the particulars of your life. Other times, our prayers are very specific, because we do.

May the trials and burdens of our walk through life bring us more closely to follow in the Savior's footsteps...

Thank you for your contribution of friendship and caring in our lives...

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What a year! Unquestionably, a few bumps on the road of life. It has been a journey we, our entire family, will never forget; but, we made it. Moreover, we will never forget the kindness and prayers of so many. Thank you!

Anita said, "While I cannot remember such a physically painful challenge as the cancer in my life, I have also never felt so close to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I would not exchange the experience for what I have learned and for how I have been blessed to see life through different eyes, and with a different heart."

As for me, my feelings and heartfelt appreciation during this last year can be read in my journal entries right here on this blog.

This time of year reminds us of what is most meaningful in our lives; the things money cannot buy: the little things that are the big things. We all certainly have a personal feeling of what that means.

With our love to you,

MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR! (See two pictures below: "family" picture & "25 grandkids" picture).

All because two people fell in love...

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HAPPY THANKSGIVING! It will be for us, and we certainly wish the same for you.

Last Thursday, Anita had her first "90 day"  check-up AND received the results of her blood test (CA 125) - which was favorable. Translation: she is in remission. She will continue to receive this blood "check-up" every 90 days for a couple of years; but for this holiday season we give thanks for a current clean bill of health; her hair is back, and so is her everyday beautiful smile. [Moreover, we are having Thanksgiving Dinner/dessert at our house...40+ between the two events - I hope they eat a large breakfast before they come].

Why are things favorable for her and not for so many others? I do not know. But, I give thanks that it is how it is for us right now.

And, especially at this time of year, I want to tell each of you how much I have appreciated your prayers and support this last year; it has been of immeasurable emotional assistance to me.

Anita never really gathered the emotional strength to read the e-mails I sent out during the year, nor the responses that were received. Certainly, that is not to say they were not appreciated; in fact, au contraire. She attributes much of my stamina as having been maintained because of the kind and uplifting comments from so many of you each week.

So, even once again, expressing my gratitude to you nevertheless still seems insufficient. All the same, thanks from both of us!

Unbeknownst to Anita, I am inserting the following from a recent personal correspondence; she is a very private person, and probably will be mildly upset at me for doing so. However, I feel that it might be of benefit to others and consequently I've included it herein.

Anita began her letter by referencing an article from the Readers Digest (Nov. 1956) "The Thanksgiving I Don't Forget", by H. Gordon Green.

"Gordon tells how he grew up on a farm in Canada, where he and his siblings had to hurry home from school while the other children played ball and went swimming. Their father, however, had the capacity to help them understand that their work amounted to something. This was especially true after harvest time when the family celebrated Thanksgiving, for on that day their father gave them a great gift. He took an inventory of everything they had.

"On Thanksgiving morning he would take them to the cellar with its barrels of apples, bins of beets, carrots packed in sand, and mountains of sacked potatoes as well as peas, corn, string beans, jellies, strawberries, and other preserves which filled their shelves. He had the children count everything carefully. Then they went out to the barn and figured how many tons of hay there were and how many bushels of grain in the granary. They counted the cows, pigs, chickens, turkeys, and geese. Their father said he wanted to see how they stood, but they knew he really wanted them to realize on that feast day how richly God had blessed them and had smiled upon all their hours of work. Finally, when they sat down to the feast their mother had prepared, the blessings were something they felt.

"Gordon indicated, however, that the Thanksgiving he remembered most thankfully was the year they seemed to have nothing for which to be grateful.

"The year started off well: they had leftover hay, lots of seed, four litters of pigs, and their father had a little money set aside so that someday he could afford to buy a hay loader - a wonderful machine most farmers just dreamed of owning. It was also the year that electricity came to their town - although not to them because they couldn't afford it.

"One night when Gordon's mother was doing her big wash, his father stepped in and took his turn over the washboard and asked his wife to rest and do her knitting. He said, "You spend more time doing the wash than sleeping. Do you think we should break down and get electricity?" Although elated at the prospect, she shed a tear or two as she thought of the hay loader that wouldn't be bought.

"So the electrical line went up their lane that year. Although it was nothing fancy, they acquired a washing machine that worked all day by itself and brilliant light bulbs that dangled from each ceiling. There were no more lamps to fill with oil, no more wicks to cut, no more sooty chimneys to wash. The lamps went quietly off to the attic.

"The coming of electricity to their farm was almost the last good thing that happened to them that year. Just as their crops were starting to come through the ground, the rains started. When the water finally receded, there wasn't a plant left anywhere. They planted again, but more rains beat the crops into the earth. Their potatoes rotted in the mud. They sold a couple of cows and all the pigs and other livestock they had intended to keep, getting very low prices for them because everybody else had to do the same thing. All they harvested that year was a patch of turnips which had somehow weathered the storms.

"Then it was Thanksgiving again. Their mother said, "Maybe we'd better forget it this year. We haven't even got a goose left."

"On Thanksgiving morning, however, Gordon's father showed up with a jackrabbit and asked his wife to cook it. Grudgingly she started the job, indicating it would take a long time to cook that tough old thing. When it was finally on the table with some of the turnips that had survived, the children refused to eat. Gordon's mother cried, and then his father did a strange thing. He went up to the attic, got an oil lamp, took it back to the table, and lighted it. He told the children to turn out the electric lights. When there was only the lamp again, they could hardly believe that it had been that dark before. They wondered how they had ever seen anything without the bright lights made possible by electricity.

"The food was blessed, and everyone ate. When dinner was over, they all sat quietly.

Wrote Gordon:

"In the humble dimness of the old lamp we were beginning to see clearly again. . . .

"It [was] a lovely meal. The jack rabbit tasted like turkey and the turnips were the mildest we could recall. . . .

" . . . [Our] home . . . , for all its want, was so rich [to] us."

ANITA: I realize that there have been many challenges this year.  I thought this article would be a good review as we look forward to this Thanksgiving.  There is such a true and thoughtful message in the story; I hope that you will take that spirit into your hearts - look for what you do have, even if it doesn't seem obvious: pray to see it. 

I want you to know we would love to have your "gratitude's" to be shared in our traditional Thankful Game.  You could pop them in an email to Dad or me.

[EXPLANATION:  In 1985 we began a family tradition, which has maintained itself ever sense then, of anonymously writing 3 to 5 things we are grateful for on individual small pieces of paper,  and putting them into a bag. After dinner, we then pass the bag around and everyone grabs a handful to read out loud to all gathered together. Even when the children were away serving their missions, for the Church, they still sent theirs home to be put into the bag. And even those who have lived away from home, or are now living away from home, have done the same. We have kept each of the bags, marked by that specific year].

I also want you to know how much you are loved, appreciated and remembered as we gather to give "Thank you to Heavenly Father" for the gift of family, of life, of learning, of sacrifice, of the faith that precedes a miracle, of prayer, of patience, of healing, and of trusting the Lord in all things, and the very blessing specifically that each of you are to Dad and me, as well as to your siblings and their family.

I love you so very much and I am grateful for you, your prayers for me and the miraculous blessings received.  I hope you have felt Dad's and my prayers in your behalf as well.  I know and trust that Heavenly Father is mindful of you and all that you are learning and will bless you as you continue to trust in Him and the counsel of the Prophets as you move forward in your lives. 

While I cannot remember such a physically painful challenge as the cancer in my life, [Anita had a heart-valve replacement in Nov. 1996, which resulted in major complications, at the time] I have also never felt so close to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, and appreciated the Atonement and all associated promises either.  I would not exchange the experience for what I have learned and for how I have been blessed to see life through different eyes, and with a different heart.  I hope you can be grateful for that for me. 

And I hope that you are feeling the Lord's love for you, too, as you draw close to Him in your decisions, choices.  I know He is there for you, just as he has been there and continues to be there for me.  I hope you will remember that your mother trusted God and He never let her down!  And that she has faith and trusts that He is as mindful of you as He is her...

We will all return one day to Heavenly Father at our turn; my prayer is that we will be together with Him in the eternities.

May you enjoy a beautiful holiday this week and in the coming weeks with Christmas following. 

My love always,

Mom

HAPPY THANKSGIVING MY DEAR FRIENDS AND FAMILY...and once, again, THANK YOU  for your friendship...

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It has been one year ago this week that we received the frightening news: "Anita, you have ovarian cancer." The ugliness of this announcement is almost completely erased from my mind, albeit in an occasional quiet moment it does resurface.  Even so, it is so very nice to be currently looking at this "scenario" in the rearview mirror.

Now, while it has been way too long since my last "update", I am happy to report that "no news" is "good news." Anita's every three months blood test was scheduled for November 3, but has been postponed for a couple of weeks due to the doctor's conflict of schedule. So, while I had thought to wait until then, I decided to not postpone this "update" any longer.

Anita has been up and going, doing, participating, and being involved in everything she wants.  She has limited herself in NOTHING.  Her hair has grown back (very fine) - still without any gray; although she did have the "tips" frosted to be able to do something with it.  [I'm considering having mine frosted (dark brown), so as to not be mistaken as her father].

To celebrate, last week we went to Disneyland, and also visited one of Anita's girlfriend's from her youth, in addition to another dear girlfriend who lived with her for a while during their childhood years; we just got home on Monday.  Additionally, we visited my sister and her husband and also an aunt and uncle, plus enjoyed an ADAMS family reunion/dinner. It was a very enjoyable time.

Looking back, and trying to pay attention each day, I recognize that everyone has some difficult circumstances in their lives - either as the participant of the unfavorable situation, or as an involved bystander: unemployment; sickness; accidents; health impairments (physical, mental, spiritual, emotional); marital strife; divorce; victim of an injustice of any nature...the list goes on and on and seldom do we see the pain, hurt, or sorrow in the eyes behind the often smiling face of our family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, or others with whom we have association - but it is there, and it is real.

My point: I think each of us could be a little more kind, a little more patient, a little more helpful.  Add to that being a little more considerate; quicker to forgive; lending a  confidential listening ear, where requested (not passing along  to anyone what was heard as a juicy "tidbit" of information  and, thereby, not fanning  the flames of gossip); and, perhaps less interfering with our "quick-fix" opinion, especially when usually based on such limited knowledge.

Oh, as good as the world is, would it not be even better for everyone if each of us treated one another more in line with the teachings of Jesus?

I'll save the rest of my sermon for myself; but, I am more keenly aware now, than ever before, that everyone carries a "bag" - and most often none of us would trade "ours" for "theirs".

Anita and I, once again, thank you for your kindness, friendship, and prayers, over this last very difficult year. I hope that each of us will turn our thoughts and prayers to so many others who currently struggle. That each of us might also look daily to perform a simple act of kindness to someone.

Life moves on much too quickly for any of us to waste some of the sand in our hourglass in any unfavorable way.

Thank you again for who you are...

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It has been one month ago that Anita had the "tubing" removed from her abdomen. Her recovery, and active participation back into life, has been astounding. She is back walking a full hour each morning; she has started back with her Cub Scouts; she has caught up on almost all of the home repairs, including some touch up painting both inside and outside; she has taken most of the grandchildren out (some individually, and others in small groups) for lunch, ice cream, and some "retail" therapy. While she is not at full throttle, there would be only few that could detect it.

Right now, this whole thing, which began almost one year ago, has been like a time-warp dream that never happened.

Of the so many people that I have heard over the years, who have had trying circumstances in their lives, who have said they would not trade the growth that they have had from their experience, I take my hat off to them. This is not to suggest that both Anita and I have not learned greatly from this circumstance, but it does tell on me in that I could easily wish that it would never have happened.

Please don't take me wrong, wondering if it has been a test of my faith - it has not! I am confident that I neither wavered nor questioned, why, at any time. Moreover, I am certain that I have been taught many things during this year, and hopefully have learned most of them. But to suggest that I might want to push to the front of the line, to have another great "learning experience", would not be honest on my part.

Unquestionably, I think I am more aware of the trials, difficulties, and tribulations that have found, and will continue to find, their way to so many. I think I have learned more compassion, to be more observant of others struggles, to be quicker to inconspicuously help those in need, and to be more patient in listening. Nevertheless, I certainly do not want to imply that any of these new "learned traits" are visible to anyone, nor that I have even come close to mastering any one of them.

However, on occasion, in a quiet moment, I do feel something a little tiny bit better about myself. Could I have learned this via a different manner? I doubt it. Would I like to sign up for the second course in a similar curriculum, to attempt to possibly better myself some more? Not this semester.

Right now, at least for the time being, (metaphorically speaking) it is a cloudless sky with a warm tropical breeze over the Adams household. Will it remain that way? Nothing does! As with all things, whether good or bad, this too shall pass. But for right now we are enjoying the interlude of peaceful sailing on what recently have been turbulent waters.

Once again, may I thank you for your "kindnesses", prayers, notes, cards, letters, phone calls, and e-mails, which have kept me emotionally afloat.

Anita is doing well; and I am very glad.

Ray

P.S. I hope you will not take this last part of my letter as an intrusive "commercial." Please let me explain. During the last 30+ years I've been helping individuals and families with their estate, financial, insurance, and retirement planning. During this time I have seen so very many unfortunate circumstances, which could have been much less problematic if there simply had been some better planning. After observing each one of these situations, I thought to myself: How unfortunate for everyone concerned. Consequently, four years ago I wrote a booklet entitled, "Plan for the Rest of Your Life"; it was of help to many. So, while I was at home this year (January - July) I had the time to completely "update" the booklet with the new tax changes, new concepts, and even reference new available financial products - plus re-titled: "AN ESTATE & FINANCIAL GUIDE TO HELP YOU PRESERVE YOUR ASSETS". So that you may better avoid any unfortunate circumstances similar to those I've seen, I wanted to offer you a complimentary copy of this booklet. I am confident this information will be of benefit to you. Click on the "Home Page" on this website to receive this booklet...no strings attached.

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